36 weeks

This is just a quick blog this week as I have been dealing with sickness in my family. Its hard to believe in one more week I will be full term. So many emotions are going through my head, this time with Logan I had him and was in the NICU with him everyday praying for my son to come home. I can remember teh emotions of knowing that he was early dn that he was having a hard time getting well. Everyday was a consent stuggle to not be so depressed, and to not think the worst! I can recall not wanting to go and see him of fear of them telling us that he was worse! But then i remeber the times of beig able to spend and hold him. To talk to my son and tell him how proud I was of him for being a big boy and learning new things. I truly relayed on the power of Heavenly Father to help me. Now that does not mean at times I wonder why he was born early or what I did to make him so. These past few days I have been stuggling keeping postive about this LO. I have been having high BP and do not want a hospital stay. I finaly said thats enough and prayed long and hard and asked for stength. Strength is such a funny word. It can mean so many things. I needed to be strong like you women I see. I needed to be strong for my Daughter inside of me. Talk to a dear friend helped me see I am strong. I just needed to be reminded of it. So I tell each one of you YOU ARE STRONG! You can do anything and can move those mountains! Know I love you all! Amanda

your a star!

I am like a star shining brightly,
Smiling for the whole world to see.
I can do and say happy things each day,
For I know Heav’nly Father loves me.

All this week I have had this little song in my head. Each time we would go on a walk I would hum this little tune and would teach it to my son. Now he is saying the star song when he wants to hear it. Now go ahead and read the words again, and tell me that it is not catchy! As I have been singing this song in my head I noticed it was when I was struggling or having a hard time. On Monday I developed a rash on my chest area thinking it would go away I put it aside like it was nothing. Then on Tuesday woke up to it spreading to my neck! I just laughed when i woke up thinking great only I would get some type of strange rash. So I made a doctors appointment for Wed. and prayed the doctor would know what it was! I knew I wanted to do some type of commit to fit project and the movement one that we have heard so much about in mamavation so I have started walking again everyday! We walk five bocks to the high school and take there walking path once around which is 3/4 mile and walk back home which makes it 1 mile total everyday! Now I may not be where Leah, Lisa, Rachel, or Jared are as look at how wonderful they where in NYC, But I do think that subway would be happy with a 34 week pregnant women walking a mile everyday! I started it on Monday and by Wednesday I was beat!!! I wanted to give up until I went to my doctor and he talked to me. As most of you know I have been having some blood pressure problems with this pregnancy, but doctor told me by staying healthy and not gaining weight I would be able to keep this baby in longer. So I did it, now that does not mean I have fallen because I have, but I have 34 weeks without a single pound being added to the scale, until wed. I gained wait for it 3lbs! I was a little shocked when i saw it and sad, but my doctor informed me he was happy to see a 3lbs weight gain in 34 weeks. So when you think about it that way I have done pretty darn good! Then he took my blood pressure it was the lowest it has ever been 124/88 wow I thought ok I am rocking it. He saw my rash and said in a joking way I think it is your body way of saying you do not need to be pregnant any more. We had a good laugh and he gave me some cream to put on it and said ok my OB patient who thinks she needs to see my every week how are you. I told him about my walking and he was happy with it. He said it was fine to do but to just listen to my body. Then he asked are you having BH, I told him well I think that whats they are. He looked at me and said well describe them to me. (On a side note I honestly never had them with Logan as he was my first and he was born at 34 weeks) I told him how they felt like period cramps at this point his face got long and he said Amanda those are not BH lets check you. As I was getting ready to be checked all I could think about was the scare of Logan coming early and all the problems we had. He checked me and said ok your at a fingertip, I asked him if that was good he said well its not bad or good. As he talked to me about what my body was doing having preterm concrations, he said lets just keep her in for three more weeks. I said ok do I have to do anything differently, my answer he gave was simple yes. He gave me a list of things I could do and things I couldn't;t no more walking a mile everyday, no more weight lifting, no more stree (haha yeah right) and no more worrying about this baby coming early!  He said now is the time to take care of yourself let others help you and be willing to ask for help, if I am willing to do that then we will be able to wait till the 1st of nov. and have this baby!  I thought about it long and hard as I was driving home. I was really honestly felt defeated everything I have been striving to do was taken away from me, when the little song came into my head again.

I am like a star shining brightly,
Smiling for the whole world to see.
I can do and say happy things each day,
For I know Heav’nly Father loves me.

I laughed to myself and thought well that its I will do happy things each day to help others complete their goals there are setting, I can still eat right and still Can walk so what if its only around the store to get some things or outside to play with Logan, guess what i am still moving! I can lift can goods into the cabinet right! See these are things I can still do I do not need to shut down and give up! That is what others may have done, but i will not do it! I will not lose everything I have worked so hard to do this pregnancy! I can still be a support to others this si what a star is! So I am telling you all now I am stillCommit to Fit Campaign and Jared ! I am still going to do the challenge set by subway and Lisa. I will still get in my movement when I can. I will not let this get me to stay in bed and be sad. I want to thank each and everyone of you for the kind words you have given me. I love u all in ways you may never ever know. I am so thankful you picked me to be SOTW! It is a great honor and something I can say thank you truly for! I am ready to have a beautiful and healthy little girl and I thank everyone of you for your prayers. So I again will tell you each one of you are a little star shining brightly for all the world to see! Till next time xoxo Amanda

Gratiude

Latly I have been doinga  lot of thinking., Wondering what is next in our lives. I mean yes we are having a baby, but what next? I have been thinking way to much about this as I have been stressing out. Well this weekend was General Conference for my church (the church of Jesus Christ of Latter day saints)

Many talks are given on how we can improve areas in ouf lives, but one hit me liek a ton of bricks. It talked about being greatful and having gratitude. So I thought to myself what am I greatful for? Well first off I am greatful to be alive in a country where we are free. We have so many freedoms and some of those are how we eat. Now this may seem werid to some that I have said this, but it made me think. I am so lucky because I can choose what I want to eat. now yes sometimes my choices suck, but most of the time my choices are not bad. Most of the time I am the one making healthy meals for my family. Just yesterday I made gutton free browines my family had no clue and ate them all. Then I thought to myself I am greatful that I can go to a store and pick up food that is good for you. Now with that being said I am so happy and thankful for Mamavation I know there are so much I need to do, but with the help of a wonderful online friends, who I can say will always be there for each other is great. To know that we all want teh same thing which is to be health. For some of us it to lose a huge amount of weight and to learn to kepe it off, for others it is to just learn how to live everyday being healthy. The thing is I know now that we can do it. We can make the choice now to live our life in a way where are children will see our good choices, and one day thank us. I am greatful for every chance I have been given in my life where I have been pushed, where I am able to make choices that will help me in the long run. I now know there are no quick fixes. I have now made a choice that after I have this baby I will be under 200lbs. I am not scared to tell you I am 228 lbs I have been for almost eight months now. But I will lose this weight I will be able to run after my son and not be faint, I will be able to take both kids on a walk and not pass out after wards. And I will not forget mamavation when i am done, because this is why i am making this choice. If it was not for mamavation i would always be willing to quit when I make a bad choice. SO i am greatful for each one of you. Thank you for being there for me, I want you to know I love you all and think of you everyday! XOXO Amanda