Not planned!

After a week of being sick, and still not getting better I wonder what was wrong with me? So I just keep pushing the veggies and fruits! I finnaly was feeling better which was so nice when I noticed my tummy not feeling so great. I pushed it aside thinking it was nothing. Well I went to the health department to get my lady pills refilled and a pap. When I got there they alwasy asked you those funny questions that you just want to laugh at. NO my husband has never slept with a man who has taken drugs. Who comes up with these questions! Then they ask when was your last period I was thinking and honestly does anyone really remember that one! So I went to the room, and got all ready when they asked me if I would mine taking a pregnacy test. I kind of luaghed and say yes no problem. As I was waiting for the nurse to come back in, I just thought to myself there is no way I could be pregnant right? Well the nurse came in and said you will not be needing that pap and pills today. I looked at her funny, and she said "the line may be faint but its there. Your pregnant." I just started crying! I mean big time no stopping me crying! She looked at me and said come one lets go talk in my office. I took my time walking there and thought a baby in me no way this was not planned. I am just now getting healthy and losing weight. WHY NOW!!!! Then a feeling a peace came over me, and I knew that it would be ok. I walked into the office and found out I was almost six weeks pregnant and didn't even know! Heavenly Father works in ways we will never understand and I know that. As I drove home I was overwelmed with so many emotions, will I be able to handle both kids? Then I took a deep breath and I knew that it would be all ok! I will keep eatting healthy, drinking my water, and exersing everyday. I will do what I need to be healthy durning this whole pregnacy. I will keep walking everyday, I will make sure that I am playing with Logan and be his mother. These are the things that I will do, and keep doing the whole time with this baby. I am so excited for this baby, and I know that things will be hard, but Stephen, Logan, and I will be ok. We will welcome this baby into our home and hearts. I know that Logan will be a wonderful big brother, he loves his cousin Allie and I see that love in his eyes. I know that Stephen will get to school sometime and that when he does it will be hard, but we will get through it! I know that Stephen will make a great father again, for he already is to Logan, and I am so happy to be married for eternty to him. I know that i will have had days, and there will be times that I may not want to do things, but it will be ok. I know that I will be a great mother to this child, for I see the love that Logan has for me. These are the things that I know and I am so greatful to be given this chance to have this baby.

baby steps......

OK so how many of you have seen the movie What about Bob? It stars Bill Murry as a man with OCD who has to do everything with baby steps! Now I do not have OCD, but I do understand baby steps.
So many times I am telling myself "Amanda baby steps to the five pound weight lose" "baby steps to the one mile walk" "baby steps to the food I buy" "baby steps to the food I cook" These are baby steps I have to take everyday in my life. One of my faviort quotes from What about Bob is "Baby steps to the bus" now if you know this moving it is Bob trying to get on a Bus for a first time and him rememebering that he needed to take it one step at a time to make it to the Bus.
This is how I feel right now in my life that I need to be taking those baby steps. This week I got really sick. I honestly thought at some point I would die because my body felt so bad. But taking those baby steps to the fridge to get my veggies and juice to eat. Baby steps to take a walk outside to get fresh air helped so much. I was still able to get in all of my 8 serveing of fruits and veggies everyday even with being sick, it is what my body craved. I found that to be funny, because I thought I would want someone else, but nope I eat so much fruits and veggies. I took those small baby steps and felt better.
So I ask you how many of you are you taking Baby Steps or taking Big Steps???? This is why I love Mamavation because it has taught me to take my baby steps. I did take a big step and said I will lose weight and I am losing it, but it has to be little baby steps as well. Thank you so much everyone for supporting me and be there for me. I am so proud to be a mamavation sista! Till next week! Amanda

oklahoma aquarium

Last Saturday we had so much fun going to the oklahoma aquarium. Logan at first was not so excited there were too many people and lots of big fish. Soon when he saw little fish his face lite up with joy and aww and he loved it. I had a great time meeting my friends there who I work with on a blog I write for. We giggled a lot! Here are just a few pictures!

New Begining Old Tomorrows.....

So remember last post when I talked about changes and how it was time? Well I did it I cropped all my hair off lol! Ok maybe not all my hair but as my grandma says "Good you got rid of that stingy hair." I am now noticing a difference in the way I walk. I am not getting as tried as I used too. So I do have a funny story to tell you all. I do not know if any of you remember or not but I only live maybe five or six blocks always from my mom and dad. Well my mom and sister run a preschool/daycare from my moms home. Logan goes there 3 days a week when my dad is home and comes and picks him up. Well Thursday was such a nice day nice day that I thought you know what I am so taking Logan to Nannys house. Well I got him and I ready told him where we were going and looked for the stoller..... Guess what no stoller.... Its at nannys and poppys house me being me lefted it there the last time I walked there so instead of my normal thought of just giving up I let that thought leave my mind, and I picked up Logan and off we went. I carried him on my hip the whole way to my moms house. You know something I thought that I would be tried halfway there like I was used to, but nope I made it there and enjoyed my walk! After I got there and put Logan down and he went and played, I thought in my head there is no way I would of been able to do that five weeks ago! Its funny to me to think that a little change in the way you feel about yourself make all the change in the world.
Stephen, Logan, my mom , and I got to go to the Oklahoma Aquarium yesterday It was so much fun! The thing was there was TONS of WALKING! But guess what I was prepared this time I was so ready! I had too much fun running after Logan watching him say fish and more then anything not get tried the whole time!

So you know what this new beginings are great! I am loving it. The best part is that everytime there is something new that happeneds in your life it is a new beginging! So this is to you my Sisters my friends I ask you what new beginings have you had lately? Maybe you are drnking more water. or loseing more weight, maybe you cut your hair, or are moving into a new house. Whatever it is however big or small it is a new time in your life a new begining for you to celabrate! Remeber to embrass the change because no matter how big or how small it may seem to you do it. You completed a change, you are making your life better for you family, your friends, your spouse, and most importanly YOU!
Know that I am always here for you each and everyone of you that I love the support that you give me everyday. Thank you so much Lisa and Katie you two have been wonderful Mamavation moms and I love reading your words everyday tehya re truly inspiring. Thank you Leah for always kicking me in the butt when I need one you may not know it but you are doing it! And thank you each and everyone of my sisters my friends I love you all I enjoy the time I get to spend with you everyday and tweet it up. Thank you so much!
Last put not least here are the pictures I promised! please no laughing!

Smile Everyone!

Opperation Makerover

So the time has came for me to have a makeover! Now not just a physical one, but a mental one as well! I have been thinking of this for a while and have come to a conclusion that the time has come to get rid of my FAT jeans! Change my hair, my makeup, and more importanly my whole outlook on life! I can now see a change in the way people are looking at me. My grandma said to me the other day. Amanda you sure look nice is that a new outfit? I said no I just havn't been able to wear it in a while. She then said well good for you keep up the weight lose! I went home that night and thought you know what I am going to keep it and keep it off! So that night I went home and went through all my clothes, and if you know me I have tons! I throw away many bags of clothes and had my hubby donate them to the locale needs place here! That night I tried on for the first time a pair of Jeans I have not wore sense college and ...... THEY FIT!!!!!!!!!!!! HOLY RUSTED METAL BATMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was shocked and amazed!!!!!!!! Now I still had to do the lay on the bed to get them to botton trick! LOL but they fit a first in a year! Now I can see that it is happening a lot more still needs to happened, I know that but this is just the beginning!
Now on to some sad news..... I broke my stride this week and ate some chocolate. It was very good and tasted great! Then guess what, after I ate it I thought Amanda what are you doing you know you will only want more.... and you know what I did want more. I honestly had to tell myself NO SHUT THE DUCK UP NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I asked my hubby to kindly take the chocolate away and place it somewhere only he knows! I made sure I worked out harder that day. But I still felt so bad. I let it get to be so much. Its funny how we do that. I was doing my Dancing with the stars dancing teh pounds off dvd and pushing myself way to much. Just so you know I way my 3 1/2 dance heels when I do this work out. ( Meet my hubby doing ballroom dancing so I know what I am doing) I knew I was pushing myself, but I didn't care because I thought I need to burn that chocolate! Well I fell and hit my knee on the tv stand, and twisted my ankle! All my fault I knew what I was doing I should of knowen better. But I got up and after the tears and talking to my hubby I knew what I did and he stettled me down. The next day I was so much better, so I had a bad day its ok because WE ALL WILL HAVE BAD DAYS, but that does not mean we have to quit, we keep going and the next day we do a little better. These are things I have now learned, I know that without Mamavation I would of never learned these things. Its funny before I would of gave up and ate more and more chocolate, but not now, now I am a figter and will alway be one.
Thank you so much my lovely MAMAVATION MOMS MY SITERS MY FIRENDS!
Now on to my week of weight loss not much but some because of the fruit and veggis challenge which I am loving I am down 3.6lbs!!!!!!!!!!! Till next week I will post picture of the me blogger was giving me a hard time! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Love my love, Amanda

After the storm...

This is one of my hardest post to write. With all the good we do, comes all the bad..... why is it that there always comes a storm when you least expect it. Think about that, your outside driving along, or maybe walking or working, when all the sudden you see that the sun is no longer and is hidden behind clouds. You try to get inside as quick as you can, not wanting to get wet! Then you sit inside praying for the best, waiting it out. Then as you as watching the rain you notice many things the lighting, thunder, and the hard rain drops! You perpare for the worse thinking that no matter what you have done all that you can. So you sit back and enjoy the show, or the ride.... That is how my life have been a hard rain storm. Thunder, lighting, hail, big drops of rain, always hitting me and knocking me down making me take cover and head in the safety of my home! Well not any more!!!!!!!!!! I am now taking control of my life! You see this little boy right here

Now when I see a bad storm coming I am honestly not scared anymore. I am ready to face whatever may be lieing in wait for me. Some people may say I am crazy, but honestly I say I am not! Because what happenes after a hard storm or rain? But a rainbow! My son and husband are my rainbow. Everyday my hubby ask me, baby have you worked out today? He wants to make sure I am doing all I can to become heathy! What a great man. Now now to the wonderful news I have been waiting to say I have made a goal of mine! I started mamavation at 233lbs, I am now at 210lbs!!!!!! I have lost 23lbs and two pants sizes! my goal was to just get to under 200 and I am only 10lbs from it! So I have set a new goal and that is to be at my prewedding weight the weight I was when I meet my hubby in college that was 175, I know I can get there. Thank you so much Leah, Pete Cohen, and all your Mamavation moms who give me support every day to lose this weight. With you I know I can and will keep loseing weight!

heres a picture of me after a storm!!!!